Children often perceive their parents as superheroes. Mothers and fathers are his reference model and the object of all his admiration. But they are also wrong and they should have no problem admitting it, accepting their mistakes and apologizing. Parenting is not easy and there is no instruction manual, patience and self-control often get on the ropes, so it is common for parents to do something from time to time that they later regret.
Losing patience and yelling at the child, punishing them disproportionately, giving them a bad answer, acting inappropriately… These are situations that can occur on a day-to-day basis and it is up to us how to manage them. Surely on more than one occasion you tell your son to apologize for something he has done wrong. Well, in order to educate him in the value of apologizing and accepting his mistakes, it is essential that as a mother or father of the child you can do the same.
Children do not learn so much from what we say to them as from what we do. If he sees you eating healthy, he’s more likely to crave vegetables; if he sees you reading, he will want to read with you; And if he understands that you have no qualms about apologizing when appropriate, he will take a good note to do the same. To err is human is something that children must learn from an early age. But also, they must know that they do not have to be ashamed when it comes to admitting their failures and remedying them.
Precisely forgiveness is the key to it. It consists of a fundamental value so that, in the present and in the future, they know how to accept their mistakes, communicate and have adequate affective responsibility, being aware of the impact of their actions on others. In this way, they will learn to apologize because they really feel it and from humility, not out of obligation, pronouncing words empty of content.
Likewise, seeing their parents open up to them, express their regret and ask for their forgiveness, strengthens the bond between them. A channel of communication and mutual trust is opened that will be a fundamental pillar in the relationship. Now, apart from appreciating the importance of asking your children for forgiveness, you have to know how to do it correctly.
From the blog Criar con sentido común they apply the mnemonic rule of the four Rs to correct mistakes. It consists of four pillars: admit the mistake, take responsibility for the mistake, reconcile and resolve.
That is, we have to admit, without shame or guilt, that we have made a mistake and take responsibility for it. The more specific we are when exposing our failure to children, the better. In this regard, we have to try to use words that are clearly understood by them.
Then it’s time to reconcile and apologize. Finally, you have to try to find a solution so that the problem does not occur again.
