An argument with his brother, a call for attention from the parents or the inability to carry out a school task. The reasons why your child may have an outbreak of anger are multiple. It is a natural response to stress or accumulated frustration that, however, we must teach him to manage so that your child can self-regulate this emotion in the future.
Much of your children’s behaviors are acquired by imitation, which is why parents must learn to control their own anger when dealing with that of children. The lack of communication or the conflicts pending to be resolved with the parents are other factors that can trigger the appearance of anger.
The first and most important thing for parents to do is to avoid an impulsive or violent reaction and to calmly contemplate the situation before intervening. Physical and verbal punishments are then ruled out, they will be counterproductive for solving the problem. Replace them with the definition of rules, limits and consequences, which will help your child to protect himself from frustration and, therefore, avoid irritable behaviors.
In the middle of a fit of anger, try to understand your child’s emotions and needs and the causes of his behavior. Emotional repression can be one of the triggers for anger, so listen to him, show empathy and validate his feelings. If the reason for the anger is the entrenchment of a conflict between parents and children, it is vitally important to address it with respect and show willingness to resolve it. According to psychologist Ángel Rull, this mediating attitude will reinforce children’s social skills.
A good way to manage anger is to express it through healthy channels, such as journal writing or physical exercise. You can propose to your child any of these activities that help him relax and regain his mental balance. In the event that this is insufficient or the situation becomes uncontrollable, you can seek the help of a child therapist for follow-up treatment adapted to family circumstances.
Lack of anger control can cause serious emotional problems for your child, such as low self-esteem, anxiety, drastic mood swings, or even self-destructive behavior. A good parent-child relationship is the foundation for your child’s emotional development. For this, it is essential to encourage open communication of any problem and the construction of a safe environment where he feels supported and understood, never ignored or attacked.
