Do you remember that Japanese animated series, Shin Chan, where its protagonist, a mischievous Japanese boy, showed his ass whenever he could? Culet, culet! Well, transfer that concept to the universe of paellas.
Surely you have seen on social media pyrrhic paellas with so little rice that you are left with a good part of your ass in the air. Culet, culet! We are making progress. On the outside we see grains of brown rice on the steel stuck like a tick to the bottom of the cauldron, simulating a meager socarrat that would not satisfy anyone, because there is not even enough for a couple of spoonfuls. It is a new trend that occurs in all possible versions of rice cooked in paella. When it comes to Valencian, with a little luck we will find four pieces of Bajoqueta, a couple of garrofones, a rabbit’s leg, and two pieces of chicken strategically placed on top of the rice. Each ingredient of this supposed paella for four diners is millimeter equidistance from each other, where in the central part no grain will overlap another.
Well, dear readers, these rice stickers or decals are now in fashion and for some they embody perfection. I think it is a mistake. This type of paella, apart from being ridiculous, does not comply with the basic principles of our socio-food system. Let me explain why:
Paella is a humble dish created as the nutritional epicenter of a group of people. Over time we have developed a scale of models with diameters for each number of diners. Technique and common sense allow you to make thinner paellas, as they do in the interior of Alicante, with their famous rice with rabbit and snails cooked with vine shoots. It is an exceptional paella that is one finger high but where the ass is not left in the air.
A paella brings together people, families and friends around it. In this land it is understood that it is a unique dish, therefore it must satisfy, and if there is leftovers, as we have said on so many occasions, all the better. It is a popular dish because even if it is served for a certain number of people, nothing happens if diners are added before adding the rice. If we make a paella for fifteen people and four more people unexpectedly appear, it can be solved with four handfuls of rice. Few kitchens have that room for maneuver without the final result being affected in the slightest.
Other drawbacks of Shin-Chan paellas:
Minimalist amount of rice and ingredients with abusive commercial margins. I have seen rations of rice stickers over €25 per person. Made with prepared broths, without following the usual technique that requires time. In the case of the Valencian, you know, a minimum of 90 minutes. Here the paella is instant, like Nescafé. In restaurants where these rice dishes are served, you logically have to order other things first: appetizers, starters, seafood. Look closely and you will see how similar the options are. Mostly specialties from Tatar cuisine (red tuna tartare, salmon and avocado tartare, beef or old cow steak tartare).
Jokes aside. These places are a joke, the worst thing is that they are getting worse. Its origin is in a very clever rice commercial that has managed to involve great chefs. These have seen the commercial possibilities of rice, to which they did not pay attention before, they did not even have it on the menu. Now yes. You already know why.
I want to end by changing the subject, warning about another food trend capable of making a bald man’s hair go crazy. It is worrying since it affects the younger public. It is a marketing tactic for social networks that works because there are a bunch of influencers who share it. A restaurant in Sagunto invites its customers to participate in a challenge. For the food to be free, you have to eat a hamburger weighing more than a kilo of meat with cheese and potatoes, in less than 15 minutes.
This trend comes from the USA thanks to the television program “Crónicas Carnívoras”. A country that is an example of self-destruction. Their food burrera is more effective in extinguishing Americans than firearms and opiates combined. Dietitians-nutritionists warn about this dietary aberration that it can lead to serious health problems. It is a very bad practice that transmits an erroneous nutritional message. According to the sources consulted, this could be reportable, because it puts the person involved in the challenge at direct risk.
With 100 grams of meat a day, a person has more than enough. In this case we are talking about 10 times more, in a single intake and compulsively. Aside from the organic difficulties in metabolizing such a large amount of proteins and calories, the probability of choking and death or brain injury due to asphyxiation should not be overlooked.
If there were a fatal outcome, which no one wants, we would surely see it on tik-tok or instagram because someone recorded it. This has a good side, the judge would have evidence to prosecute the promoters of the challenge for murder.
Namaste.
